A survivor's love

Not nearly Love

By: Jamiela V. Valcurza

Love necessarily needs distance.

Distance that means a space for once.

Once that would never be enough

Enough to make me happy and laugh.

Love grew unexpectedly.

Unexpectedly, expecting the unexpected.

Unexpected but I always assume

Assume that our hearts are in the same room.

When love was away, I wasn’t sure to stay.

Stay to wherever I stopped and watch you away.

Away from the very point I bravely say.

Say you’ll stay.

No one will ever understand the feeling.

Feeling that nobody has ever felt.

Felt like it was already wrong to hold.

Hold on to things that weren’t right

In the end you’ll just see you end up

Up to the oceans of doubts and fears

Fears that already conquered, now formed

Formed as an advice to whoever feels the same.

A Lover's Poem

“The way I’m Left Behind”

By: Ken Dexter C. Arandela

Wheels roll and doors closed

As I watch you leave from afar

I hear the silent screams of my heart

Screaming for you to stay with me

As you disappear in the horizon

My eyes were locked in

Locked in the position where you sat

Hoping that you would look at me back

The time I’ve spent with you

Moments that I’ll never forget

Things I’ve done that I’ll never regret

Stays in my mind

Reminding me of your love.

I scream in walloping silence, begging!

Begging for you to be with me

I’ll never stop asking you,

“Will you stay with me?”

Perhaps it’s wrong to say “Love me back”

Because love has nothing in return

I’ll never count the things I’ve done for you

It just states that I am impatient

You once said that love waits

That lovers have to be patient

And must have understanding

With boundless faith

It hurts to love when you’re away

That’s why distance is also part of love

My heart yells for you

But you had to go, to rest

When you’ll come back and see me

Please smile with all your might

Hug me with all your strength

For me to forget that I waited so long.

“My heart beats only for you”.

A friend in a Zone

Human is privileged to beg for love. We are capable of demanding it from other person. It has to be fair as we all thought of loving someone, it’s like a pact. “I will love you, please love me too.” We all wanted it to work that way because for us, it’s a torture- loving without you receiving some of it.

This means a world of our expectations, from the biggest to the slightest thing we could ask out from our fantasies that we want to make happen.

I have many friends, “boy” friends that usually and honestly consumes most of my time.  I fully know I have so much work to do but when the clock hits at 10 pm I decided to talk to them.

I heard more than stories not just of love but of life itself. I felt how hard love was it for those guys to bare. Craving for chances that only the future could tell if it’ll be worth. But as usual, they are hard to understand. There’s so many sides even I can’t comprehend even if I tried. They’ll say they wanted to move on, to forget, but you will see them begging for second chances. You will see them lurking to the ones they wanted to move off. You will hear them go over past they’re memories time to time a certain thing reminds them like food, place, favorites and etc. They’ll say they wanted to be free but it just means they wanted their girl to be free again from the new man who replaced them. They’ll say they’re happy but it means they would be happy if she comes back. They’ll say they wait but it means they badly needed an answer now.

I could never understand them. But I never understood myself more. Of why I keep on listening to their million time repeated stories and flashbacks. I never care if it began to hurt me and I could never understand myself so much. It scratches my heart and it aches when I saw them whole and happy in their past. Of how they find me at their darkest and broken hours and stopped to text me when they regain their previous relationship. Of how I was able to love someone who make me feel of love but has no deep meaning at all. And of how I wake up and face the new morning blessed and broken, no one has ever noticed even to those who demands of my time and ears, shoulders and tears.

I guess that’s how I worked with love. I wonder how I am able to sustain myself in my own knees when my heart breaks, of how I can still stand after a great fall and of how I was able to care again to some persons who insulted and never had done good for me. Despite of everything, I am glad I’ve helped them. It’s a great relief seeing them well in the side of others. At least I’ve done my part. I’d never had a relationship but I think this is my love life and that is to love life. A life that scoped a hard path, makes you endure and feel a profound victory in the end, a privilege other will never felt.